Of Love ...

'Couples are jigsaw puzzles that hang together by touching in just enough points. They're never total fits or misfits'.

(Diane Ackerman)

What is it to be 'well'?

So, what is it to be 'well'?..

Working, as I do, with many brides to be, folks looking forward to a milestone Birthdays and people in charge of company functions, most of whom can get quite stressed from time to time, I often wish I could de-stress my clients in ways other than 'taking the clipboard from them'. I therefore asked Miriam, who runs Equilibrium Holistic Health, someone whose professional opinion and practice I have a lot of time for, to tell us a bit about what we can all be doing to achieve an overall feeling of 'wellness'....

What Does it Mean?

Many people believe ‘health’ and ‘wellness’ are terms that simply mean being free from disease, but there is so much more to being truly well! Are you really well if you are overweight, forgetful, tired, moody, or have poor skin? What if you suffer from headaches, frequent colds, constipation or bloating? If you regularly experience these symptoms, you may not necessarily have a disease, but you aren’t truly well either. There are steps you can take to escape these frustrating complaints and enjoy true wellness.

Diets Fail, Lifestyle Changes Succeed

We have all heard the saying “You are what you eat,” but the truth is, “You are what you most consistently eat.” How many times have you started a diet with the best of intentions, only to find it too difficult to follow for more than a few weeks? Fad diets don’t help you to achieve long-term health goals. Realistic dietary changes that are sustainable are the best way to improve your health over the long-term. Seven sustainable dietary changes for wellness are:

1. Include protein-rich foods in each meal or snack: Protein foods include fish, seafood, poultry, meat, eggs, dairy and legumes.

2. Enjoy a minimum of three cups of fresh vegetables daily: Choose from a variety of vegetables and aim to have a rainbow of colours on your dinner plate.

3. Enjoy a minimum of two pieces or one cup of fresh fruit every day: Berries are an especially good choice as they are rich in antioxidants.

4. Limit starchy carbohydrates to two small serves per day: Aim for only 1 to 2 serves of bread, rice, pasta, cereal or potatoes daily.

5. Include healthy fats in your diet: Healthy fats are found in cold water fish, nuts and seeds such as almonds, walnuts, brazil nuts, sunflower and pumpkin seeds, and cold pressed oils such as olive oil, coconut oil and flaxseed oil. Aim for 1 to 2 tablespoons of good quality oils per day and limit nuts and seeds to a small handful daily.

6. Drink a minimum of eight glasses of pure water every day: Use natural flavourings such as fresh lemon, lime and mint in water instead of soft drinks and cordials. Reduce excessive consumption of caffeinated beverages to 1 to 2 per day.

7. Enjoy a ‘freedom’ meal once a week: A ‘wellness program’ is a life-long diet and lifestyle program. Allow yourself one or two ‘treat’ meals per week. Remember, “You are what you most consistently eat”.

Live Well and Laugh a Lot!

Taking regular time out to relax is vital for wellness. Relaxation activities such as yoga, meditation or reading a book increase the levels of ‘feel good’ chemicals in your brain that make you feel happy. Laughter is the best medicine; seriously! Laughter reduces stress hormones, improves breathing and circulation, and can even improve your immune system. Relaxation and laughter are important additions to any wellness program.

You Can Achieve Your Goal of Wellness

You don’t have to settle for feeling ‘just ok’. You can achieve wellness by making simple, sustainable changes to improve your energy, health and wellbeing over the long-term.

A Flower for February

Soulla Beck of Sophie's Garden introduces her monthly floral tribute....

Traditionally flowers go hand in hand with special occasions.  The Victorians started the fashion for sending cards and flowers with hidden romantic messages on Valentine’s Day.  Red roses, meaning Love, were at one time considered the only flower to represent this occasion. 

The worldwide demand for red roses on Valentine’s Day has an inflationary effect on their price.  Alternative blooms such as Orchids, Tulips and Gerberas are becoming popular to give and receive and are equally as stunning as the red rose.

Sending flowers to men has been growing in popularity.  Strong colours and bold textures along with interesting shapes such as Calla Lilies, Anthriums and Amaryllis are well suited.

 February’s Birth Flower is the Violet, symbolising faithfulness, humility and chastity.

Wedding Ceremony Types

Wedding Ceremonies and Civil Partnerships

So, you’re engaged, or have decided to make a lifetime commitment – congratulations. As you’re probably finding, there is a lot to plan and organise in the run up to your big day. However, in terms of the ‘serious bit’ ie: the commitment you have chosen to make to one another, the ceremony itself is very important. Let’s take a look at the options…….

The Church of England

 Who can marry?

 Men and women who are 16* or over and either single or widowed. Many ministers are sympathetic and will also allow the marriage of divorcees, but some will suggest a civil ceremony and a blessing. Male: female couples only.        

How to apply

The marriage must be preceded by one of the following:

• Publication of banns
• Common license
• License from Archbishop of Canterbury
• Superintendent Registrar’s authority

Publication of banns is the most usual method, however a visit to the parish minister will establish which of the above applies to you.

The Ceremony itself

 Ceremonies differ, but generally follow this pattern:

Bride enters to Processional music

Hymn

Vicar asks if anyone knows of a reason why the marriage should not take place     

Vicar asks who is giving bride away*

Vicar passes brides right hand to groom

Bride’s father sits

Groom makes marriage vows

Bride makes marriage vows*

Vicar blesses ring(s)

Groom gives ring

Bride may give ring

Vicar announces the couple are man and wife

Bride and Groom kiss

Sermon

Hymns

Holy Communion**

Signing of Register

Exit to Recessional music

** There are three different forms of words for the ceremony, enabling you to follow as much tradition as you like, but also allowing you to opt out of ‘to obey’, of being ‘given away’ and of taking communion should you wish.

The Catholic Church

Who can marry?

 Male: female couples, neither of whom have been divorced, at least one of whom is Catholic. Each party must agree that they choose to marry freely, intend to remain together for life, intend to remain faithful and intend to have one or more children: questions which will be asked of them in the marriage ceremony.

How to apply

The ceremony will generally take place in the bride or groom’s parish. If not, you will need written authority from your local priest to marry elsewhere.

The priest will organise the publication of banns and will expect you to attend a number of meetings in which the nature of Catholic marriage will be outlined.

If you are not both Catholic the priest may apply for a Dispensation to Marry, issued by the Catholic Church.

The Ceremony itself

There are two different ceremonies. If both parties are Catholic it is usual for the marriage vows to make up a part of the Mass service, with the bride and groom, plus any Catholic members of the congregation, taking communion. If one of the partners is not Catholic, or the couple wants a shorter ceremony, it does not form part of a Mass.

The Civil Marriage Ceremony

Who can marry?

Men and women who are 16* or over and either single, widowed or divorced. Male: female couples only.

How to apply

The Registrar must obtain an Authority to marry you, which is organised by both partners giving Notice of Marriage. This states the following:

• Name
• Age
• Marital Status
• Address
• Occupation
• Nationality
• Intended marriage venue

Your Notice of Marriage is valid for 12 months.

The Ceremony itself

You have a high degree of flexibility with a civil ceremony. For starters, you can choose to marry in a Register Office, either your local one or another, or licensed venue, of which there are over 3,000 nationally. You are able to tailor your marriage vows to be very specific to the two of you and you may choose readings and music, provided they are non religious and have been approved by your Registrar.

Take care to ask how many guests the venue is licensed to hold in the room where your ceremony will take place.

Just prior to the ceremony, the Registrar meets with the bride and groom separately to ensure the information on the Authority is correct.

In terms of format, the ceremony is generally as follows:

Bride enters to Processional music

Registrar explains nature of marriage in this country

Bride and Groom asked to declare they are free to marry

Exchange of civil vows

Groom gives ring

Bride may give ring

Signing of Register

Exit to Recessional music

The Civil Partnership Registration/ Ceremony

Who can enter into a Civil Partnership?

 Same sex couples, of 16* or above, neither party of which is in a civil partnership or marriage. Civil  Partnership gives each the status of civil partner. It is not the same as marriage, but aims to give civil partners the same rights and responsibilities as married partners.

How to apply

As with civil marriages, the Registrar will need to obtain an Authority to perform the Registration, which is organised by both partners giving notice of their intention to register a Civil Partnership in their local Register office(s).

If the Registration is to take place outside the area(s) in which you live, you will be required to organise the Registration and venue in advance of giving notice, as you will need to state the date and place of Registration on the forms.

The Registration/ Ceremony itself

A Civil Partnership is officially completed once both parties have signed the Civil Partnership document in the presence of witnesses and their Registrar. There is no obligation to have a ceremony at all, however many couples are choosing to have one, in order to make their day special for everyone.

You can be as flexible as you like with a Civil Partnership Ceremony, provided no part of it is in any way religious. As with civil marriage, you can choose to marry in a Register Office, either your local one or another, or licensed venue, of which there are over 3,000 nationally. You are able to tailor any vows you wish to make to be very personal and/or you can ask your Registrar for suggested wording.

Take care to ask how many guests the venue is licensed to hold in the room where your ceremony will take place.

A sample Civil Partnership ceremony might run as follows:

Couple enters to Processional music

Registrar welcomes couple and guests

Registrar asks if anyone knows of any impediment to the Civil Partnership

Couple exchange vows

Each partner repeats ‘I declare that I know of no legal reason why we may not register as each others civil partner. I understand that on signing this document we will be forming a civil partnership with each other’

Signing of Civil Partnership Schedule

Registrar declares couple as ‘Partners in Law’

Couple exits to Recessional music

The above gives an outline of the basics of the most common ceremonies in the UK however if you would like further advice or information about the ceremonies above, other faith or humanist ceremonies, marrying a non-UK national, weddings abroad etc, please comment on this post or call 01442 828061 and we will either answer your questions or point you to other, specialised information services.

* 16 and 17 year olds require parental consent.

Great Garden Games

Planning a wedding or party this Spring or Summer? How are you going to keep the children entertained and happy whilst the adults catch up?

Yes, I appreciate not inviting them is one answer, but often you want to, but just need to make sure they won't get bored.

In nearly 10 years of planning weddings and parties I have seen the most amazing array of acts, magicians, musicians, caricaturists etc. However, in my experience, provided you have a warm (or at least non wet) day, nothing beats some good, solid garden games to keep those youngsters smiling and occupied.

I say 'youngsters', in fact I have managed many a wedding where I have needed to extricate various adult guests (particularly the male of the species) from a game of croquet, a skittles-fest or everyone's all time favourite Giant Tower or Jenga.

I recently tried out this beautifully built, solid set from Garden Games Ltd and was very impressed.

If you are thinking of investing in something similar this year, I would certainly consider looking at their brochure.

Men and Weddings

Men and Weddings

'Men and weddings go together well: most Grooms want to be heavily involved in all the preparations and have to be consoled about not being able to help choose the wedding dress' .......

.......Sound familiar? All right, probably not, but during my nearly 10 years of wedding planning I have seen quite a shift in attitude from Grooms, with around 40% showing a lot of interest in organising the perfect day and, in a couple of cases, very much taking the reins.

I believe much of this has to do with people choosing to marry a little later and often paying for the majority of the wedding as a couple rather than looking to parents for finance. In talking to Grooms it is also a question of wanting to put on a great party and give friends and family excellent food and wine and wow them with interesting entertainment, which of course includes the speeches: traditionally the domain of the men. If you haven't already, do check out Staggered, the wedding website and blog for men: it's full of brilliant, down to earth advice and ideas and makes for a hilarious read.

However, if you are a Bride and you don't feel your husband to be is interested or involved, don't despair. He was the one, probably, who went down on one knee to ask you to marry him so he definitely wants the wedding: he may simply not be as absorbed by the shade of peonies for your centrepieces as perhaps you and your Mum are. There are generally elements of the wedding which he will have more interest in, so why not establish what they are and agree that he will organise, or at least take the lead in, these. Classic suggestions would be:

Transport

Have him view and shortlist some options: some Grooms choose to hire a fabulous sports car to drive them to the Church for something a little different.

Honeymoon

Traditionally one of the items the Groom would pay for, many still organise the honeymoon as a complete surprise for their Bride, ensuring, of course, she knows sufficient about the destination to have had the right shots and packed suitable clothing.

Drinks

With wines from so many parts of the world being easily accessible these days many of us have more than a passing interest in grape varieties and bouquets. Whether you are choosing from a hotel wine list, planning a booze cruise to do your own thing or simply visiting your local off license this is an area which many Grooms are more than happy to be in charge of.

Male grooming

It shouldn't just be the ladies who get to visit the spa, follow a healthy eating and exercise routine and ensure they look perfect for the big day. Lots of grooms now work with personal trainers to get really fit and indulge in the odd treatment and a good traditional shave, complete with pre-wedding trial too.

Speeches

These days there are really no taboos about who makes a speech at a wedding. In the UK many brides or 'best women' will get up and speak whereas in America pretty much anyone will toast the happy couple and take two minutes to say a few words, which can be lovely. However, in my experience, around 80% of us still go for the traditional three speeches, all made by our most beloved chaps.

So, for the male readers amongst you, go for it. We all love to hear a well delivered, fun filled, 'not-too-embarrassing' speech, so it is worth taking your time, checking it over with a couple of trusted mates, and making your Bride the proudest girl in the world on your big day.

And as for the Best Man.....remember, make it funny, make it cool, make the bridesmaids drool but make sure nobody will be genuinely offended by any jokes or comments you make.

Give the guys a break

In the end there are many Grooms and indeed Fathers of Brides who have very little interest in the detail. If your fiancé is dragging his heels and really only thinking about putting a ring on your finger and having a fabulous holiday, so be it: you probably didn't fall for him because of his party planning skills anyway. Also, the wedding is just the beginning: later in your marriage you might be pleased that you get to choose the wall colours, the furnishings and the menus!

A Flower for January

Reintroducing Soulla Beck of Sophie's Garden who kindly brings us monthly hints and tips and an idea of what is in season.....

Happy New Year, may it be a healthy and happy one for you and your families.

A new year and a fresh start for us all. I wonder how many lucky ladies had a proposal of marriage over the festive holiday, these ladies will be so excited and looking forward to planning their wedding.

If you are choosing to get professional help with the flowers, a good florist or floral designer should be interested in your event and be able to interpret your ideas. They should guide you into making decisions that will suit your personality, style and the mood you wish to create for the day but also take into account the budget.

January’s Birth Flower is the Carnation, meaning love, fascination and distinction. Carnations are found in every colour you can imagine and are available in so many different sizes which is probably one of the reasons behind them being the biggest selling cut flower in the UK, along with their combination of attractiveness, longevity and clove like fragrance and also their all year round availability.

Sweet Creations

I recently discovered Sweet Creations and thought I would share a couple of their delightful pieces. There are many more on their lovely site.

I know it won't be just the children enjoying these when I first get to book them for a wedding or party!

Sweet Creations are the creators of spectacular sweet trees, candy buffets and sweet sushi.They offer a bespoke service, utilising almost every kind of sweet/chocolate imaginable. They cater for parties, weddings and events, so there's no excuse not to try something yummy this year.